


Do Birds Fuck Bees?

by planetundersiege



Category: We Happy Few (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Cute, Dialogue, Drinking, Drunk Arthur, Drunken Conversation, Drunken Flirting, F/M, Funny, Happy, Oneshot, Post Game, Sally is amused, Sarthur, Snow, The Two Musketeers, Winter, birds and the bees, drunk, scotch, we happy few - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 13:32:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15973340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetundersiege/pseuds/planetundersiege
Summary: Sally had her hands full with a drunk Arthur.[Inspired by the hilarious drunk Arthur chat on the WHF discord.]





	Do Birds Fuck Bees?

The empty bottle of scotch was thrown to the side, breaking into many tiny pieces as the glass hit the wall of the house. Arthur let out a burp and a smile as he felt warm and fuzzy, so happy. What had been going on?

He remembered the pub with some friends, some drink. Oh yes those sweet drinks, more scotch, and now he was sitting on his lawn in the cold and deep snow, a crushed bottle beside him that he just had downed. He hiccuped, and felt so warm, but as he looked down, he saw that his fingers had started turning white.

Wow! When did that happen?

He was about to open another bottle (where did he get another bottle from?) but got distracted as he heard a shout.

“Arthur! What the fuck are you doing sitting on the lawn without a damn coat?”

“Drinking. Want some sweety?”

The woman let out a sigh.

“No thanks. I’m pretty sure you need me sober. Did you lose a bet at the bar again?”

The man just shrugged, burying one of his hand into the cold snow, before Sally literally dragged him up.

“Let’s get inside shall we.”

Walking however was easier said than done. Everything was spinning, Arthur felt like he would fall to the side any second, and was convincing he was walking right when he tried to walk into the air. That was right? Probably. It wasn’t that easy with his current vision. But he was so warm and fuzzy, and happy! And now Sally was here!

They got inside, and Sally carefully put her hand on Arthur’s.

“Fuck, you’re cold. I’m gonna go make you a bath before you freeze to death. Take off your clothes.”

The man blushed before smirking.

“Well Salamander you’re forward, but isn’t it to early?”

“For fucks sake, I’m not talking about sleeping with you. Take off your clothes so that I can give you a bath.”

“Sally, we need to have the talk. You’re so forward, it’s the birds and the bees.”

She facepalmed.

“Arthur, you know fully well I know what sex is. We’ve been married for six months, I have a god damn kid.”

“You gotta know the truth. It’s not the stork, or yes it is. The bird fucks the bee. How do the bird fuck the bee?”

“Arthur, I think you’re a bit too drunk.”

“It’s natural, it’s so much. So many birds that fucks bees, but how? Have you ever seen a birdbee baby?”

“Well, actually it’s the bee who fucks the flower if you want to explain it like that?”

The man looked at Sally like his whole world view had been blown, and like he was going throug an existential crisis in mere seconds.

“But how? My life have been a lie? Birds don’t fuck bees? What do we get then, flowerbirds? That’s so silly, oh shit, did my mom give Percy the wrong talk as well? What if he has bee children Sally? I deserve to be stung by them.”

Sally was this close to getting a knockout syringe, yet didn’t. She was laughing her ass off. Drunk Arthur was something amazing, and she loved to tease him in the morning about the weird things he had said. This time was no different. But she saw how the man was shaking, bony probably screaming after warmth while his mind didn’t realize.

“Arthur, just take off your clothes, you need a bath.”

“Well you’re eager.”

“I’m not gonna fuck you. I’m gonna make you not die.”

“Playing hard to get huh?”

“Arthur I love you but you sound way weirder than someone stoned on joy.”

“You’re my joy, baby.”


End file.
